


leave the past in the past

by ernyx



Series: Black Widow Meta Fills [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Ballet, Flashbacks, Gen, Light Angst, Meta, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha-centric, no relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 08:50:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13498643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ernyx/pseuds/ernyx
Summary: Meta prompt: the first time she sees the ballet after leaving the KGB





	leave the past in the past

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted from tumblr @artificiallyimplantedmemories // feel free to prompt me there for headcanons and meta about various scenes from her canon (or any of my RP threads), any longer answers will be posted here as well

     It seems like the entirety of the Western world has a weird fascination with ballet. This had been an exceedingly useful thing when she’d been undercover as a member of the Bolshoi Ballet, traveling from one place to another and taking out targets. Now, it’s a nuisance, dredging up memories better left buried. There had been one shining moment in that time when she’d been allowed to forget who she was, thrown herself into the art and been at the height of her existence. Now, she’s resigned to do little more than wipe the blood from her hands and move on.

     It’s easy enough for a while. She flips the channel when it pops up on tv, she averts her eyes when she sees little girls out at the mall in pretty pink tutus, she doesn’t read the posters of which ballet acts are coming to town– whichever town she’s in.

     But then they reappear. The Bolshoi Ballet arrives in New York City, and she’s compelled, not because she  _wants_  to be there, but because she  _needs_  to be there. If she can recognize any of them, she might yet save a life. If she can sneak backstage, or even just be at the performance…

     It’s with a tumultuous heart that she buys tickets. _Giselle_  is playing for a week. She gets an orchestra seat to the very first show, just far enough back that her face won’t be visible from the stage. Even so, she takes the precaution of wearing a wig, because one can never be too careful.

     The gentlemen come out onto stage first, all posturing and regal. She’s not interested in them. That’s not where any young Widows will be hidden, after all. But after a few minutes, the story continues, and the leading lady appears, decked out in blue, and it feels very much like the breath has been punched out of her.

     Her hands move almost unconsciously, right along with the hands of the dancer on stage. She knows this ballet well, and the music makes her heart soar even as she struggles to concentrate and recognize the faces under the makeup.

     She continues to watch. There’s not a single person she knows.

     Unless there have been some extremely recent  _late_  additions, this particular ballet is not one where there are any assassins. The relief is almost overwhelming. Perhaps there won’t be a death here that she can prevent. Perhaps she–

     The thought cuts itself off. What does she do now? Is she really willing to sit through a love story, after all of this? Their expressions are so heartbreakingly beautiful, and it’s been so long since she’s experienced this, the joy and the sorrow and the…

     Without risking another thought, she flees the theatre.   
            There is nothing here for her any longer.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Feedback? I'd love to hear it! Drop me a line either here or on my tumblr!


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